There is no one-size-fits all method for all such situations. The art of manipulation is an art, not an algorithm that works with no data. You have provided precisely zero data. Typically, you need to describe pretty much the entire situation and relationship history to get useful input from third parties. You are already getting fire for even considering manipulative means. If you were to post an anonymized set of data, you'd also come under fire for ends.

There are many like me who are perfectly fine with manipulative means, and treat the world of interpersonal relationships as a game. But once you post your intentions, you'll find that even people like me start to take sides.

Greene's book is an excellent starting point to get inspired, but it is not particularly practical in today's terms. I haven't yet read it, but I've heard good things about Cialdini's Influence.

You will also have much greater success if you frame your manipulative intent in terms of what you want the other person to do, in time-bound ways, rather than what you want that other person to be(come). In its current form, your question is about changing personality.

It is much easier to shape behavior than personality. It is also usually enough to change behavior temporarily, for most things you want to change. Permament behavior change is harder. Personality change is even harder, and is sharply constrained by genetics.