Question
Is it better for a couple/family to be apart a big chunk of the time?
Answer
I think you're going to get a lot of answers based on traditional pre-conceptions of what an 'ideal' family or relationship or parenting model 'ought' to be. These aren't bad, but they are design patterns established hundreds of years ago, and while part of the designs is genetic and timeless, a good deal is arbitrary and a response to long-gone social environmental conditions.
I am going to be politically incorrect and suggest you ignore all that advice. It's not like it's working particularly well for anyone.
Instead, treat your idea as a hypothesis for an experiment. See if it works. If not tweak and try a slightly different model. If your partner gets into the spirit of the experiment without reading it as a disguised separation, that would work. If not you may have to carefully run the experiment unilaterally in a disguised way. If it works, it'll be easier to persuade the partner to accept it as an indefinite arrangement.
In the end, it is up to you to figure out a creative arrangement that works. There are no iron-clad rules except those of biology and psychology. But you have to be absolutely honest with yourself and resist the urge to rationalize that if it works for you it works for others. If your kids are suffering, don't pretend they are not. If they seem genuinely happier than when you two are always fighting, then good. As with any experiment, stay aware of what you can and cannot measure, and don't make assumptions about the immeasurable. Figure out how to measure it.
We do not live in a world of Norman Rockwell paintings. Think hard about the psychology of the situation and figure it out. Get a friend who knows all parties and is insightful about this stuff to help. General suggestions are useless. Things might hinge on whether your partner is an introvert or extrovert and has close friends for example.
I suspect this is a heterosexual relationship and that you are the guy. Read up on and take the Mars/Venus stuff into account. For instance women care a lot more what friends and family think, and about putting up a facade of 'normal' than men. If your experiment design does not include all that it will fail.
I am going to be politically incorrect and suggest you ignore all that advice. It's not like it's working particularly well for anyone.
Instead, treat your idea as a hypothesis for an experiment. See if it works. If not tweak and try a slightly different model. If your partner gets into the spirit of the experiment without reading it as a disguised separation, that would work. If not you may have to carefully run the experiment unilaterally in a disguised way. If it works, it'll be easier to persuade the partner to accept it as an indefinite arrangement.
In the end, it is up to you to figure out a creative arrangement that works. There are no iron-clad rules except those of biology and psychology. But you have to be absolutely honest with yourself and resist the urge to rationalize that if it works for you it works for others. If your kids are suffering, don't pretend they are not. If they seem genuinely happier than when you two are always fighting, then good. As with any experiment, stay aware of what you can and cannot measure, and don't make assumptions about the immeasurable. Figure out how to measure it.
We do not live in a world of Norman Rockwell paintings. Think hard about the psychology of the situation and figure it out. Get a friend who knows all parties and is insightful about this stuff to help. General suggestions are useless. Things might hinge on whether your partner is an introvert or extrovert and has close friends for example.
I suspect this is a heterosexual relationship and that you are the guy. Read up on and take the Mars/Venus stuff into account. For instance women care a lot more what friends and family think, and about putting up a facade of 'normal' than men. If your experiment design does not include all that it will fail.