← Quora archive  ·  2012 Jan 21, 2012 04:08 PM PST

Question

When you learn that in community sometimes up to 25 people live in a house together, what questions come to mind about how they live?

Answer

Having lived in a couple, the things that are most relevant that you generally can't read until you actually move in there are:

  1. What are the sexual dynamics/politics of the place? They always exist, are often a factor for people hoping to join, and inevitably screw things up somewhere between slightly and completely.
  2. How uber-bitchy, humorless and green-eco dictatorial are the key community leaders? They always exist, are always that way to some extent, and are often hard to spot a priori. They often avoid obvious, formal leadership roles, but are usually long-time residents who derive their power in other ways that would get called out as sanctimonious a#%hole behavior anywhere else. But in such communities it often amounts to moral authority that is not challenged. Often this is based on irrational levels of "I am more hair shirt-green than thou" stances (substitute whatever Talibanesque ideological purity concept you like here). These folks often get away with awful behavior like information hoarding etc.

Neither is a deal-breaker, but it is good to know the degree to which both dynamics have taken root. A community blog would be a good way to reveal this stuff to those who know what clues/red flags to look out for.